Friday, November 20, 2009

Got Worms?

Your sister tells you that your niece, little Susy, really wants a pet of her own. She wants something cute and cuddly, but also wants to be able to take care of it by herself.

Somehow in between the words "cute" and "pet," you decide that this is the perfect present for Susy's birthday...

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Gift Giving Tip #463536: Even though the soil is mulitple colors and has "pretty" live plants in the display, a worm farm is not a gift designed to please.

Monkeying Around

Sigh! Mom has everything already! I have no idea what to get her for Hanukkah.

I guess I could get her a day at the spa. Or maybe a trip to Costa Rica. Also, she did say she wanted a nice green sweater the other day.

How about I combine these three. I can get her a cozy sweater to bring her some tranquility that will remind her of the creatures in Costa Rica. That's a great idea.

Behold, the monkey sweater.

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Boxed Wine

Your boss is a wine enthusiast. He has traveled through Tuscany and toured many vineyards.

You figure that he must really like wine, right? He probably drinks a good bit of it, so you want to get the most "bang for your buck" when it comes to his gift.

Enter, wine in box.

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Lots of glasses of wine, convenient box, easy to store in a fridge, right? Right?

Wrong.

Gift Giving Tip #4563465: Never give boxed wine to anyone as a gift.

Procreation Cookies

It's Thanksgiving, and your mother-in-law volunteers to bring the dessert. Little did you know, she decides to skip out on the standard pumpkin pie, replacing it with some subliminal message cookies.

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

Team Jacob

Teenaged Granddaughter: "Ooooh, how about you buy this for little Bobby's first birthday!" *Holds up Twilight onesie*

Grandmother: "Well, I guess your dad is quite hairy."

Teenaged Granddaughter gives her BFF a high five and watches her grandmother buy the onesie for her baby brother.

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Gift Giving tip #1349054: Nothing says immaturity like displaying "Team Jacob" on your baby's onesie.

Jesus Beanie

Cousin Dan: "I've heard Ted's been spending a lot of time outside on that new motorcycle of his."

Cousin Patty: "Well, this time of year is much too cold to be doing that. We don't want to lose Ted to hypothermia! We'll have to find him a gift that he can use while he's riding that darn motorcycle."

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Still Haven't Found Nemo

Uncle Eddie: "We're getting little Johnny that Nemo stuffed toy for Christmas, right?"

Aunt Ruthie: "But the one made by Disney is so expensive. If we get Johnny this one he'll never know the difference. It's on sale for half the price!"

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The Joker

Picture this: you're ten years old, and the thing you want more than anything for your birthday this year is a doll of The Joker from Batman:

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Pretty simple request, right?

Well, mom and dad tell grandma she can pick out a Joker doll for you. They figure she has things handled, until you upwrap this:

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Gift Giving Tip #8454309: A themed Sock Monkey should never be given away as a present.

Struts

This *cough* interesting horse is called a "Struts." It teaches our daughters that even our beloved pets can go out on the town and pick up men wearing next to nothing. I have so many questions about this thing, and very few answers.

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1. Why is it carrying a purse? How is it holding on to it? What could a horse possibly be carrying around?
2. Who applied its makeup? Especially since its hooves are wrapped up in high heels (!!!).
3. Earrings?

Twilight Edward Action Figure

We all know the holidays are quickly approaching. Even though you have a special little boy on your shopping list who enjoys action figures, please skip over the Twilight Edward doll.

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Even though he is a vampire (which sounds like it would be appealing to your 10 year old nephew), please refrain from this purchase.

It's the Thought that Counts

Let's face it. We've all received at least one cringeworthy gift at some point in our lives. Maybe it was a sequinned reindeer sweater at age 15 from weird aunt Edna. Or how about a regifted fuzzy pink toilet seat cover? It could've even been baked goods, such as a decade old fruit cake.

Here at Gift Flops, we seek out those gifts. The regifts, the worthless gadgets, the themed undergarments, the strange artwork, etc., etc. You will find them all here.

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